10: Everything from the remakes.
Okay, first of all, I do appreciate Rob Zombie for at least trying to introduce something different into the series. But WHY DID HE HAVE TO MAKE IT SO FRIGGIN' WIERD??? Okay, first of all, all the men in the two movies have girly hair, and Michael from the remake was a chubby little freak. When you heard him talk, and felt sympathy for him, it made him not scary. Why give him a motive when he is scarier when he doesn't have one? Okay, I will admit that I liked how it did more of the trial and showed how he killed more than one person, but I don't know why they had to go into so much detail about it all. Also, I do like how they made him behave like an actual insane person, who likes to hide behind masks and wants to show Laurie that she is his sister rather than kill her, but why?
9: Loomis's beard from Halloween 6.
What, did he turn into Chester Alan Arthur??? Okay, maybe this is a nitpick, but this beard just looks ridiculous. I mean, really stupid. Dr. Loomis had a moustache, not mutated sideburns that covered his cheeks. You know, long sideburns were for men who were loading flint lock muskets so their cheeks wouldn't get burned off from sparks. I don't think Loomis was loading a flint lock musket any time in the series. So, what was the point? It doesn't fit him at all. Whose idea was this? Who said: "Hey, let's give him this really stupid looking beard that he has never shown any signs of growing before and that hasn't been in style since 1846." This beard feels like a victorian nobleman, not Dr. Loomis. No offense to the late Donald Pleasence, but why on Earth did they give him such a ridiculous beard???
8: The hydrotherapy scalding death from Halloween II.
Okay, I'll be the first one to say that I really liked Halloween II.
The original one.
I thought that Rick Rosenthal did a pretty good job with keeping the atmosphere of the original, despite the fact that it had a lot of blood. Whatever, it was still a darn good movie with a classy atmosphere. However, it certainly wasn't without its problems. Like that really stupid scene where he stabs someone with a tiny surgical scalpel and lifts her, like, four feet in the air. Okay, first of all, he isn't superman, he's a mental patient. Second, scalpels do not support weight like that. It would have gone deeper into her torso instead of staying in place long enough for her to be lifted up. They certainly missed a good opportunity to have a really cool kill, but instead made it so corny it's laughable.
But the one that really takes the cake is the hydrotherapy death. Where a horny nurse (imagine that) goes skinny dipping in a hydrotherapy tub before getting her head dunked several times in hot water, which somehow kills her. (?) You figure that out. I know that a lot of people really liked this death. And I did, too. But it didn't feel like a Halloween death. It felt like a Friday the 13th death. Lots of gore and implausibility. Halloween was classy. It was very realistic, and that was part of the reason it was so great. The original never had a death like that. Michael never was over the top in his deaths. He never would have gone to that much work to kill someone. So, first of all, why on Earth did that thing go so friggin hot??? I mean, if you are treating burn patients, you won't scald them! Second of all, how did she die? I mean, it must have hurt, but she wasn't drowned. She was just scalded, which apparently killed her. Third of all, how wasn't Michael's hand scalded?
7: The teenagers from Halloween: H20.
Halloween H20 managed to salvage what Halloween 6 destroyed. But the one problem with this is the teenagers. They don't act like teenagers. If you were wondering who is responsible for this, just thank Mr. Kevin Williamson, creator of Jersey Shore.
6: Michael's immortality from, well, all of them!
I know, the ending of the first film, as implausible as it was, left us all with a feeling of dread, and by the end of Halloween 4, I wanted him to die. And he did. But his evil went into Jamie, and that was the PERFECT conclusion to the franchise. But then Halloween 5 rolled around, and, yeah.
5: The Lousy Cops from Halloween 5.
Maybe this is a nitpick, but I really HATED Halloween 5. There were a couple good scenes, like the laundry chute sequence, but everything else pretty much sucked. I'll go on record any day by saying that Halloween 4 was really good, but this film screwed up pretty much everything that Halloween 4 made good. Let me name a few: the net that was somehow installed in the meyers house, the telekenesis, making Jamie mute and "good" again, after she murdered someone in the last film, the scythe decapitation, all of the annoying fake outs by the same guy in the mask, the stereotypical characters, making Rachel a blond bimbo, and how Michael survived getting blown to bits. But that would be all forgivable, if it weren't for the two lousy cops. These guys were cops, who for the entire movie, did nothing right. They were assigned to protect a party from a mass murderer, do they? No. They sit in their squad car the entire time and eat donuts. Come on, these guys are making Chief Wiggum look efficient!
And the worst part is that they actually SAY that they are lousy cops! Who calls themselves lousy? Who? These guys were just annoying. When they see Michael walking towards their squad car with a pitchfork, they don't even do anything. They just say stop a couple times, but never once draw their guns! These cops were the stereotypical 'dumb cops' in all slasher films. In the first couple films, heck, even in the PREVIOUS FILM, the police were portrayed as everyday people, doing thier jobs and whatever it takes to keep the people of Haddonfield safe. Those are REAL cops. They are friendly, intelligent, determined people that work hard and have to to keep their jobs. These are bad actors playing cartoon versions of cops. I can't believe that they care about these people. They sure don't act like it! Did they just hand them the police academy diploma? Again, maybe a nitpick, but it wouldn't be that bad if in the first films they didn't portray them doing everything right, and then in the next one say that they're all idiots.
4: Jamie's telekenisis from Halloween 5.
WHY did they make one of the series' best characters friggin TELEPATHIC?!?! I mean, REALLY!!! Is there an explanation? No. Is there a reason? No. Is there a purpose? No. It's simply added to the film to make it the silliest film in the series, the film every good franchise must have. The film may as well be called Carrie vs. Michael, because the idea is really friggin stupid! Halloween 5 is where the series seriously went downhill. I will admit, if not for Halloween H20 and Resurrection, the series would be dead.
3: The cult of thorn from Halloween 5 and 6.
I know you can't keep a series interesting by having no answer to why Michael kills, but the cult of thorn was just plain silly. I know they tried, but at least it could have been something realistic by childhood trauma or something. What made Michael so scary in the first place was the fact that he had no motive. In fact, Billy Loomis from Scream once said:
"Why? Why? You hear that, Stu? I think she wants a motive. Well, I haven't got one, Sid. Did Norman Bates have a motive? Did they ever decide why Hannibal Lecter liked to eat people? DON'T THINK SO. See, it's a whole lot scarier when there's no motive. That motive enough for ya?"
(Well, they did give them motives in Hannibal: Rising and Psycho IV: The Beginning, but those sucked. Screw prequels!)
2: The head explosion, from Halloween 6.
Basically this guy gets electrocuted and his head explodes. How does this happen? What, is Michael a Scanner now?
(Scanners was a movie where a guy's head explodes. To watch it, click on this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdwPGZi-3yQ)
I think that if anyone knows the basics of electricity, two things happen. One, no part of your body explodes, and two, electricity is not visible as it is coursing through your body, unless you're invisible. *cough Friday the 13th Part 7 and 8*
1: Busta Rhymes from Halloween: Resurrection.
Okay, first let me just say that I didn't HATE Halloween: Resurrection. In fact, I think that it is one of the most original and suspenseful films in the series. Sure, it does follow the whole "final girl" formula that most cliched slashers suffer from, but I still think it is superior to H20, and has a great Michael Myers (Canadian stuntman and Halloween fan Brad Loree) and one of the best masks in the series. But Busta Rhymes is the thing that REALLY annoyed me and Halloween fans alike. Therefore, the only reason the character is so annoying is simply because of Busta Rhymes! He is just cussing every other sentence because he feels like ad-libbing it into the script. Not to mention that out of all the characters, Busta Rhymes is the hero. The guy who actually takes out Michael Myers!!! Can you believe it? The guy is just bad news. He is annoying, repetetive, stereotypical, stupid, and completely cartoonish. When Michael stabbed him, I jumped for joy. Too bad he somehow survived and became one of two survivors. :(
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